NEWS FLASH! Today, some Obama administration officials got wind that a handful of farmers near the Washington, DC area had terrible crops last year. In response to the farmers inability to care for their plants Obama has issued an Executive Order to confiscate all tractors and ban any production of them. Nancy Pelosi, after hearing the news of the order was quoted as saying, "We must protect the plants. It was completely necessary that we stop the use of all tractors immediately."