PARADISE IN SKUNK STINK, TEXAS!

Skunk Stink, Texas is a very small town and durin' these tough money times, well, everybody in town purdy much is livin' on credit. Now, it was 'bout a month ago when Ol' Eugene "Catfish" Hatfield got a call from one of dem rich fellas what owned a big ol' company in Miami. This fella wanted two rooms for him and an associate. They were gonna look at some land in th' area and just needed th' rooms for one night. They said that they would send Eugene a company check for two hundred dollars, but they wanted th' best rooms. Eugene said, "Yes sir Mr. Boss man, I'll take good care of ya!". You see, Eugene, normally got only nineteen dollars a night. Oh, and they called Eugene "Catfish" 'cause he was a big, fat, slippery ol' cuss. Anyway, Catfish got th' check and made a quick run to th' bank to see if it would cash and it did. Man, Ol' Catfish was happy, but then it dawned on him.

You see, he had ordered a hind quarter of beef and had th' butcher, Mike McCoy, cut and packaged it and he still owed him two hundred dollars, so he went to Mike's, and after banterin' back and forth, tryin' to talk him down, he finally gave in and paid him th' two hundred. After all, Mike was th' only butcher for miles around and CATFISH liked his meat. Now, Ol' Mike was tough on Catfish 'cause he had to be. You see, he knew he had to pay Lester Livingston two hundred for a hog he had bought off him. Lester had a small farm and raised a few cows and pigs and if you wanted either one without driving over a hundred miles, well, you had to deal with Ol' Lester. So Mike paid him th' two hundred.

Now, Jimmy Fencher ran th' only feed and grain store for over two hundred miles in any direction. You would think that it would be very successful, but there just wasn't many folks what lived within two hundred miles of Jimmy. So, like th' rest of th' folks in Skunk Stink, he barely got by. Jimmy was sure happy when he eyeballed Lester Livingston walkin' up to him. He said, "Les, how's it goin?" and Lester said, "Just fine Jimmy, just fine." And they grinned and small talked a lil' more and then Lest said, "Jimmy, I got that two hundred that I owe you for that feed I bought. I sure am sorry that it took this so long, but times.." Jimmy said, "Yeah I know Lester, times been tough on all of us." Jimmy kinda hem hawd around for a bit, but finally thanked Lester.

*Linda Sue Pernickle was also, just like Catfish, Mike, Lester, and Jimmy, a business person in Skunk Stink, Texas. She sold her goods everywhere. She tried to stay in town, but when business was slow, well, she'd take her lil' trips. She just did what she could to stay in business. You might say that her business required her to "move around" quite a bit. Jimmy Fencher was one of her "regular" customers. If she was in town and not on a trip, it usually meant that Ol' Jimmy managed to rustle up a few bucks somewhere. Anyway Jimmy owed her two hundred from a few recent times she was in town and he went to pay her hoping to get some "free" goods. He said, "Hey Linda Sue. Could ya give a poor boy some credit?" Linda probably would have, but she was already packed up for one of her lil' trips and as she grabbed the two hundred and was gettin' in her 1974 Dodge Dart she shouted, "Maybe next time sugar I'll catch ya at Catfish's motel, got a go now, bye."

As she was leavin' town she went by Eugene's and remembered that she owed him for a room she rented by th' week. She knew she needed Eugene to do her "business" and just had to keep him happy. She knew he wouldn't take goods in trade "cause Catfish just like money too much. So, she went and paid him, then sped away with that Dodge lookin' like it was spewin' fire on that ol' dusty road.

Catfish was countin' his two hundred "again" when th' telephone rang. It was that big ol' rich company owner. He said, "Now Catfish, (Eugene had told him that he could call him that las time they talked) I say Catfish, I'm not gonna be needin' them rooms after all. Naw, I find some better land elsewhere, so if you could send me my two hundred back today, I'd be obliged to you." Catfish lowered his head and said, "Ah, sure Boss man, I'll get right on it, but don't forget about my kindness and remember that we have awful comfortable rooms, okay?" He heard th' click and a buzz and knew he lost out.

Now folks, what you just read was th' Texas, down home, cornbread and beans, flap jack, hey y'all, armadillo, barbecue, big as..., version of th' OBAMA PLAN! Yep, no body made a dang thing, but hey, there ain't no debt, and they's all be believin' in th' "Audacity of Hope"! Can I get an Amen from ya?

Y'all have a good 'un while you be chewin' on dis one for a bit and this is some opinions from TH' DUMB OL' EAST TEXAS BOY! Open your eyes brother!

*Now, I hope you noticed that I didn't say not one bad thing when I described Linda Sue Pernickle. I was a perfect gentleman and if you were thinkin' somethin' different, well, then it be your mind in th' gutter partner and not mine. No siree!