IT'S TH' NAME GAME!

Folks I have done it! Really! I have learned how to solve all the problems in the United States of America, almost immediately. Yes sir, those really smart ol' boys and girls in our fine nations capitol have given me a vision. It came to me last night, while I was asleep. I woke up in a cold shiverin' sweat! Didn't smell too good neither, but the vision was cemented in my brain. I was so dang happy! I just couldn't hardly wait to tell y'all all about it. I mean, when you got something this good, you just gotta share it. You just have to. It just wouldn't be natural to do otherwise. Ya know?

So here it is, but first, what do you think the worst crime in America is? There are a lot of bad ones, but murder would probably be the worst. Well here goes! From now on murderers will have to be called HUMAN DISPOSAL MECHANISMS, or HDM'S, and murder will be called the act of a HUMAN DISPOSAL MECHANISM. See, I told told you so. Now there is no more murder or murderers in America. They are gone! Yeah, when Obama changed the phrase WAR ON TERRORISM, I just knew he was on to somethin'. He just didn't carry it far enough though. I mean why did he stop at that? I mean he could get rid of burglars and burglary too. From now on burglars are called HUMAN ARTICLE MAGNETS or HAM'S. You see how it works? Don't it just make you feel so safe and secure? I mean, we just got rid of murderers and burglars, just like that. Now, let's take on drug dealers. They gotta go right? Well, from now on they are ILLICIT PHARMACEUTICAL DISTRIBUTORS or IPD'S. Man this is neat! Don't you just love it when we can clean up America like this? Somebody stop me! I'm so excited! Hey, what about car thieves? Yeah, they're gone too...............HUMAN VEHICULAR CONFISCATORS or HVC'S, is what we'll call them sucker's now. It's so less painful. Anyway, you get the picture, right? In fact, you can almost hear it now........................listen.

"This is John Anchor of WRXT TV reporting live from downtown New York. We have just learned that an HVC picked up an IPD and were headed toward Boston. The police were hot on their trail! Suddenly they swerved on to a side street and were seen picking up another person. This man was know to be a local HAM. Now they are back on the highway in an attempt to elude the PUBLIC WELFARE MONITORS, or PWM'S. We will certainly try to keep you informed as this story unfolds, so please stay with us for a very short break." (Commercial) "Okay folks I'm back again, John Anchor, with WRXT TV still bringing you this story live. The PWM'S are still looking for the HVC, IPD, and the HAM, but appears they have lost them somewhere between New York and Boston. What a shame. They were so close. We will bring you more later." "And we're back. We have some great news. It appears that a HDM was looking for the HVC and caught up with the whole bunch at a warehouse near Boston. There was a brief skirmish with the HDM, HVC, IPD, HAM, and the PWM, but the PWM won and all the INTENTIONALLY CORRUPT HUMANS or ICH'S were brought in without anyone being harmed. And so ends another successful PWM story and, thanks to our government, we were able to bring you this breaking news without any painful or politically incorrect phrases. This is John Anchor wishing you a good night.

Do you see how utterly silly these politicians can be? It is truly amazin'! That these so-called highly educated folks can be so darn ridiculously dumb. I mean stupid, folks! As if using a different phrase or word would help get us out of the mess that they, YES THEY, put us in. Think about it. If, in the last twenty years, we had absolutely no politicians in Washington, DC, we'd all be better off. Go ahead, look at what they've done in that time. Social Security is failing! Medicare is failing! Education is failing! Highways, bridges, and roads are failing! Postal System is failing! IRS is failing! Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac is failing! Housing is failing! Crime is succeeding! Illegal drugs are succeeding! Unrest on our southern border is succeeding! Illegal immigrants are succeeding! Foreign affairs are failing! The United Nations is failing! And you can go on forever. Oh, and one more small, tiny, weeny thing.........THE WHOLE DARN ECONOMY IS FAILING! I mean, you just gotta ask yourself, "Why in the hell do we need politicians?" Everything they touch turns to mush! There is absolutely no substance in our current leaders! They are corrupt! They are greedy! They are self-absorbed! And they are UN-AMERICAN! WE NEED AMERICANS IN THE WHITEHOUSE! 

How long are we just going to keep freely handing our money to this group of idiots? How long are we going to let them give all their "buddies" money? How long are we just simply going to look the other way? Do you really believe that this country is succeeding? Please enlighten me! I don't see it anywhere. At least, not in anything that the government has had it's stinky lil' fingers in. C'mon, I'm asking you, give me something solid, that the idiots have done. Please. I want to believe again. Don't you? I remember when I was a kid and watched them John Wayne war movies, I'd get so filled with pride. The next day in school, I'd look at that flag and say the Pledge of Allegiance and I'd feel so dang proud. Well, I want that feeling again! Yes I do. We should all experience how that really feels. It is a shame, that we are letting just a small bunch of greedy, self-absorbed, corrupt, idiots take REAL AMERICA away from us. I know that I want it back, but we need to hurry because we really do not have that much longer. They are getting all their "ducks" lined up. A complete switch to complete government control is just a few short steps away. Your money, your children, your job, your company, your entertainment, your welfare, will soon be controlled by the idiots. It's time folks. It really is.

And these are my opinions, TH' DUMB OL' EAST TEXAS BOY.