SURVIVE? YOU CAN’T HANDLE SURVIVAL, CAN YA PUNK?

Well Texas has finally lost it’s mind! Or the mindless Hollywood folks have come to Texas. Yeah, that does sound better. Anyway, due to the popularity of the show, "Survivor", or as I like to call them, “How to profit off the homeless and/or insane”, Texas is planning to do a new show, entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style!" It is my understanding that Rick Perry, Donald Trump and Dawg, the bounty hunter, came up with it.

Now here is the just of how the show works. There will be eight contestants or guinea pigs, which ever you prefer. These folks will all start out driving from Dallas to Waco. They will call this the, “First Leg.” In the “Second Leg,” they will drive to Austin and from there through San Antonio and over to Houston. The very difficult “Third Leg” will be through Houston and down to Brownsville. Next, the most grueling “Fourth Leg” will go through the very conservative ranches and farms of the West Texas hill country. They will then proceed up to Del Rio and through it, then through El Paso, Odessa, Midland, Lubbock, and Amarillo. The “Final Leg” will go to Abilene, Fort Worth and then on to where they began, Dallas.

What will they be driving? Well I was hoping you’d ask. Each contestant, or homeless person or Welfare recipient, will be driving a pink, 1979 Volvo beetle with bumper stickers plastered all over them that read: “Woodstock,” "I'm a Democrat," "Amnesty for Illegal’s," "I love the Dixie Chicks," "Boycott Beef," "I Voted for Obama,” "George Strait Sucks," "Hillary in 2012" and... "I'm here to confiscate your guns."

The winner will be the first one to make it all the way back to Dallas, alive. The Grand Prizewinner will receive their prize on Labor Day at “Leroy’s Church and Soup Kitchen for the Lost and Forgotten”, which is located near the State Fair of Texas fairgrounds. Oh, and the producers of the event went all out on the prize. It was said, that they took over six long months to come up with a prize, which would truly honor the winner. I am so happy to announce their final decision. The Grand Prize will be a full time job at the McDonald’s of their choosing. In addition, if their event Volvo is still in drivable condition, they will be able to keep it, in order to drive to work. If their Volvo just cannot go another mile, they will receive a year’s supply of bus tokens.

Be sure to catch this new show on the “E” channel, appearing Wednesday nights at nine o’clock. The series starts in August.

                                                                                                                           

"I am very proud, that I pray to and worship our Judea/Christian, God Almighty. I am very proud to be an American, who loves all his family and all his fellow patriots. I will defend the original Constitutional. I will defend the rights and lives of patriots to the best of my ability and, if time and resources permit will even defend other Americans, who may fail to believe as I do, but I will never defend a quran practicing muslim. They are my ENEMY! Remember, be proud of, and promote, your beliefs! Be proud you're an American and promote that with pride! Be proud of your families and your fellow patriots and promote that with pride! And last, take some kind of real action and pray “everyday” for God to lead you correctly! Believe me.....this will lead to success.”” -- JOHN L SULAK ...and there you have some more opinions from me, Th' Dumb Ol' East Texas Boy. Take care out there, okay. IN GOD WE DO TRUST!