THE TOP 11 REASONS WHY IDIOTS ARE STILL ELECTED!

Everyone, with any common sense that is, stammers and mumbles about the way we keep electing idiots.  Some folks go ballistic about this, when it is really quite simple.  Yes, it really is.  Oh, shut the heck up and let me explain.

 My friends, thanks to the efforts of a few other friends, I’ve come up with a list of eleven examples as to why folks keep electing idiots. I certainly believe, in my heart of hearts, that even the most ignorant amongst us will get the just of where this is going.  It is a very good cross section of the American population at its best…..uh, I mean, worst.  Please follow along, go ahead, and laugh if you wish.  No one will call you politically correct, a redneck, a bigot, a racist, a cracka’, a honkey, whitey, I promise, ‘cause it’s all the truth.  However, if you can’t laugh at these then they might just call you a progressive, and guess what, you might just be, and that’s the one “handle” which offends me more than any of the others.  Now here ya go:

THE TOP 11 REASONS WHY IDIOTS ARE STILL ELECTED!

1.  An ol’ boy was at a country buffet in Flint, Michigan.  He was waitin’ in line to pay.  It was one of them places that don’t let you through the gate until you fork over some dough.  The lunch buffet cost seven fifty even, that included the iced tea and tax too.  Such a deal.  Soes this fella in front of him hands the cashier seven one-dollar bills and one bright shiny half a dollar coin.  The cashier was a sweetheart, about twenty-four years old.

Well anyway, the poor lil’ cashier was besides herself.  She did not have one single slot in her cash drawer for a half a dollar coin.  She looked that drawer up and down for what seemed eternity, but there was no half a dollar coin slot to be found.  In desperation, she called the management of the buffet on the loud speaker.  Well, this fella behind the ol’ boy what had the half a dollar coin, offered the frustrated cashier two quarters for the half a dollar coin.  Now she was more confused than ever.  She looked this fella straight, smack dab in the eyeball and said, “Sir, it would not be fair for you to give up your two coins for this fella’s one.  I’ll just wait on the manager, but I sure do thank you sir.”  The fella slid his two quarters back in his pocket and waited, while he just smiled and kinda shook his head.

2.  In Biloxi, Mississippi a gal handed her bank teller one of them withdrawal slips.  No, it wasn’t a check.  It was a slip.  What’s the difference?  Well, you see, a check you gotta pay to have printed and you might get charged for writin’ one, but a slip, now that’s different.  If you use a slip, you just fill it out right there at the bank and put how much you wanna take out on it.  So, this gal from Biloxi puts four hundred bucks on her slip and takes it to the teller.  She tells that teller, “Could you give me all large bills please?”  The teller looked up, smiled and said, “I’m sorry madam, but all of our bills are the same size.  I kid you not!  These folks walk amongst us.

3.  Now, let me tell you about these middle-aged married folks.  They hurried back to the dealership in Yuma, Arizona, to pick up their new car, which they bought for a song, the day before.  Folks are always sayin’ that they got it for a song.  I had to throw that in there.  Soooo anyway, the salesman who sold them the car said, “Folks, we have a lil’ problem, but it should be taken care of soon.”  The couple was told that their car was in the service department with the keys locked in it.  They went to the service area and found a mechanic working on the driver’s side door.  The married fella was on the passenger side watching, when he grabbed the door and it opened.   The fella shouted, “Hey mechanic, this door is open!”  Now, are you ready for this? The mechanic, without stopping or looking up, shouted, “I know. I already got that side.”  Folks, if I’m lyin’, I’m dyin’!  This is the America of the twenty-first century.  What bridge did we actually cross?

4.  And, we’re moving on.  This fella in Wichita Falls, Texas, just couldn’t get his garage door to open right.  It’d go up when it was supposed to go down and vicey versy.  Well, this fella from Sears and Roebuck, heck that’s right, it’s just Sears now, anyway he came out to this man’s place.  He walked up and down eyeballin’ that opener and finally said, “Sir, you ain’t got a big enough motor.  That would be your problem.”  The owner looked at the ol’ Sear’s boy and told him that he bought the biggest one Sears makes.  It was a ½ horsepower motor.  Well, that Sear’s boy buckled up and said, “That’s what I’m tryin’ to tell you sir.  You need a ¼ horsepower motor.”  The owner kinda grinned and said, “Son, a ½ horsepower motor is bigger than a ¼ Horsepower motor.”  Here we go again, guys.  The ol’ Sear’s boy looked at that homeowner and said, “Oh no sir it’s not!  Four is much larger that two.”  That ol’ fella, the homeowner, doesn’t use Sears no more.  Maybe that place shouldn’t have gotten rid of Roebuck, uh.

5.  Okay, this momma and her daughter went to the Mickey D’s in Salt Lake City, Utah.  Their total was four dollars and a quarter and the mom gave the ol’ boy at the counter a sawbuck ($5 bill) and a bright shiny quarter.  Well, the fella looked at her and said, “Lady, you gave me too much money!”  The momma said, “I know, I did that so you can give me a whole dollar back.”  And folks, here we go again.  The fella had to get the manager to see what to do.  The manger, another bright shiny star, said, “I’m sorry mam, but we do not do that kind of thing.”  He then handed the lady back her quarter and instructed the clerk to give her back a buck seventy-five in change.  Uh!  These people are everywhere!  They are!  They really are!

6.   Was talkin’ to a deputy sheriff friend of mine.  He was tellin’ me about some of the craziest calls he ever had.  There was a bunch, but this one took grand prize.  A lady, out in the country near Butte, Montana, wanted a “DEER CROSSING” sign near her home, removed.  The deputy asked her, “Mam why does that sign, way out here, bother you.”  She proceeded, with great confidence, to explain to the unknowing deputy, “Young man, there are just too many deer being hit by cars out here.  I just do not feel that it is a good place for them to cross anymore.”                     

7.  One of them floozy’s gals from New York was going to visit a friend near Fargo, North Dakota.  On the way, she hurriedly pulled into Burger King, ordered a Whopper, and asked for minimal lettuce.  The young lady at the window said, “Mam, the only kind of lettuce we have is iceberg.”  The floozy didn’t even try to explain, she just said, “That will be just fine.” And sped away. 

 
8.  A big ol’ Texas boy was checkin’ in at the gate at the Atlanta, Georgia airport.  An airport employee asked him, “Sir, has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?”  The ol’ Texas boy grinned and looked down at the young man and said, “Sunshine, if it was without my knowledge then how the heck am I gonna know, if they did or not?”  The young man, as he nodded in agreement, said, “Yes sir I know, that’s why we ask.”  Whew weee, not ain’t that a knee slapper?  Hey, that ain’t nuthin’, wait ‘til the airports are all ran by Obama’s people!

9.  You know, some of your bigger cities have these buzzers on the traffic posts.  Well, a fella was waiting to cross the street in Wichita, Kansas, when one of them buzzers went off.  The gal beside him said, “Hmm, never seen that before.  Wonder what it’s for.”  The fella, all though he probably shouldn’t have, proceeded to explain to this gal.  He said, “Mam, it’s to let blind people know when it is safe to cross the street.”  In utter amazement the gal said, “Well, why does Wichita let blind people drive in the first place?”  There ya go, another proud Obama voter.  Folks, these are not isolated incidents!  Sit in a mall one day and watch, listen and learn.

10.  Nancy had worked for Texas Instruments for over twenty-five.  Regretfully, due to the economy Obama created, she was forced to leave.  In a jester to show her how much they cared about her, the employees held a goodbye luncheon.  They rented a banquet room and everyone was taking turns stating their farewells.  Her boss felt he had to join in and stated his goodbyes also, but he just could not leave it at that.  He just had to add to it, and he did, and he said, “This has certainly been fun.  We need to do this more often.”  The banquet room went completely silent as they, one by one, went back to work.  Oh, the boss?  A Democrat, who voted for Obama.  Yowza!

11.  And last, but not least, we come to number eleven.  Let me ask y’all something.  Look at this name, LE-A.  Yes, that is the way it is spelt, even with the dash.  Now, how would y’all pronounce that name?  Would you say, LEE AH?  How about, LEE A?  Maybe LEH A?  Or LAY A?  Nope, it ain’t none of those.  Give up?  Well, the way you say LE-A is LEDASHA.  Seriously!  This child attends a school in San Francisco and her mother is upset because everyone, including the teachers, are getting her name wrong.  When the mother was asked how she gets LEDASHA out of LE-A, she angrily replied, “The “dash” don’t be silent!”  Remember y’all, if you are ever visiting, or if you live, in San Fran, always PRONOUNCE THE “DASH”!  

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"I am very proud, that I pray to and worship our Judea/Christian, God Almighty. I am very proud to be an American, who loves all his family and all his fellow patriots. I will defend the original Constitutional. I will defend the rights and lives of patriots to the best of my ability and, if time and resources permit will even defend other Americans, who may fail to believe as I do, but I will never defend a quran practicing muslim. They are my ENEMY! 

Remember, be proud of, and promote, your beliefs! Be proud you're an American and promote that with pride! Be proud of your families and your fellow patriots and promote that with pride! And last, take some kind of real action and pray “everyday” for God to lead you correctly! Believe me.....this will lead to success.”” -- JOHN L SULAK 

...and there you have some more opinions from me, Th' Dumb Ol' East Texas Boy. Take care out there, okay. IN GOD WE DO TRUST!