HOW'D THAT WORK OUT?
TIME FOR BRAND NEW FOLKS
AT OUR HELM!
Surely, y’all haven’t forgotten about Ol’ Teddy Boy Kennedy and John “Smiley” Murtha have ya? I know I haven’t, oh, and I’m sorry I called you “Shirley”. Couldn’t resist. Anyway, it was plain as the nose on my face. It came to me in a vision last night and it was so crystal clear, that I’ve just gotta pass it on. Finally, we can all know how the two of them will spend eternity. It really was that compelling.
You see, Teddy passed first, and in my vision, he meets up with Saint Peter. Saint Pete welcomes him to Heaven, yeah Heaven, I couldn’t believe it either, but there he was. Saint Pete tells him, “Now Teddy Boy, before you settle in, it seems that we have a bit of a dilemma. We seldom see a high official, such as you, around these parts, so we are really not quite sure what to do with you. Oh, and a good friend of yours, who also is a high official will be arriving shortly.” Well Teddy Boy, being the “always get his way” kinda guy that he was demanded, “Hey Pete, everything will be just fine. I promise. Now, get out of my way and let me walk through them gates! Oh, and who else will be joining me?”
Saint Peter just smiled at Ted and said, “Look Teddy, my man, I get my orders from upper management, so you’ll just have to wait on your friend to arrive and I cannot tell you his name until he arrives. Ted made several other please, but Saint Peter stood firm and did not let Ted sway him. Teddy Boy was beside himself. He had ALWAYS gotten his way and this Saint Pete guy was telling him, of all people, “NO!” Ted had no choice, but to wait on his unknown friend.
Well, in enters John Murtha. Teddy couldn’t believe it! It was his long time friend and fellow Democrat John Murtha. He couldn’t be happier, except for the fact that he was dead, of course. Ted, right off the bat, began to tell “Smiley” how difficult this Saint Pete character was being. He begged John to do something. Anything, but get them in Heaven! John bristled up and told Ted to sit tight. No guy holding a Judgment Book, wearing wings and a robe was going to stop him from walking through those gates. So off “Smiley” went to demand their acceptance into Heaven, but Saint Peter had already talked to upper management and he was told what to do about these two high officials.
When Burtha arrived at The Gates, Saint Peter met him head on, held out his hand in front of “Smiley” and Murtha froze where he stood. Oh, he could still hear though. Then he summoned Teddy Boy and asked him if he could behave of or does he have to freeze him too. Teddy crumbled like a piece of tin foil and said, “No sir, you don’t have to freeze me. I will behave.” Then Saint Peter told them what had been decided, “Look guys, since you were high officials and all, here’s the deal. We are going to let y’all spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven and then each of you can choose where you want to spend eternity.” Well Teddy said, “Hey Pete, you don’t have to go through all of that. I’ll take Heaven right now.” “Smiley”, having thawed out now and realizing what was going on, chimed in, “Yeah, me too Pete! I’ll take Heaven right now too!” “Take it easy guys!” shouted Saint Peter, “All of this has been decided by upper management and what upper management declares, well, it has to be carried out.”
Saint Peter escorts the two to the elevator and presses the “down” arrow and off they go to Hell. It seemed like they went down forever, but finally the doors opened. What they gazed upon was unbelievable! They were both standing in the middle of a lush, green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all their friends, relatives and other politicians, who had worked with them throughout the years. Everyone is very happy and in elegant evening dress. They run to greet them, shake their hands, and reminisce about the good old times they all had while getting rich at the expense of the suckers on earth. They played a friendly game of golf and then chowed down on Maine lobster, the finest caviar and French champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy, who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.
Well the two boys were having such a good time, that when Saint Peter told them it was time to wrap it up, well, they were very disappointed, to say the least. However, Teddy did turn to John and say, “Man, if this is Hell, can you imagine what Heaven will be like?” John, not to be out done said, “Ted, I was thinking that very thing.” Anyway, the boys said there good bye’s to all their old friends and new friends and followed Saint Peter to the elevator once more. They were looking forward to spending their allotted twenty-four hours in Heaven.
The elevator climbed and climbed forever and finally the door opens into Heaven. Saint Peter said to them, “Feel free to browse around at you leisure, but remember, I’ll be back in twenty-four hours for you decision, as to where you want to spend eternity.” John and Teddy went about exploring Heaven. There were many contented souls floating from cloud to cloud and they were singing and laughing to the sound of harp music. It was a very pleasant place. Everyone was calm and relaxed. There was no pain or suffering, just complete contentment. Smiley turned to Teddy and asked him what he thought. Teddy had a kinda blank look on his face. He felt that this was a great place, but it just didn’t have the excitement of Hell and there were none of his friends here. He looked at John and said, “Look buddy, I hope you’re on the same page, but I really cannot stand all this peace and contentment. I think I’m going to chose Hell.” Smiley couldn’t wait to chime in. He said, “Man I’m glad you said that. I didn’t want to be the only one. You betcha, Hell it is.”
The two boys watched as Saint Peter approached them and then said to them, “Well guys, your twenty-four hours in Heaven has expired. I will need your decision now.” Ted looked at John, John looked at Ted and almost giggling like two teenagers, they cried out in unison, “It’s Hell, Pete!” “Alright then, Hell it is. Gentlemen, please fellow me to the elevator just once more”, said Saint Peter.
The doors of the elevator open up slowly and Saint Peter shoves the two out and closes the door quickly behind him. There was Ol’ Teddy Boy and Smiley smack dab in the middle of a baron wasteland. Everywhere they looked; there was nothing but garbage, waste and emptiness. Their friends were dressed in rags, while they picked up garbage and placed it in huge plastic bags; all while more trash would fall from the dark black sky. Every once and a while a blast of fire would shoot up and burn them and they would jump and holler.
The devil sees the boys admiring his work and he walks over to the two of them. He says, “Hi fellas! Appreciate the smart decision you guys made. We’re gonna get along just fine. Now, grab you a bag and get to loading that trash!” Smiley, being the so-called good ex-Marine that he claimed, wasn’t going to stand for this. He said, “Look here Satan! This isn’t right! Do you know who we are? Do you know what we are capable of doing?” The devil smiles and says, “That was when you were alive, Sunshine. You are mine now! All mine!”
“I do not understand,” stammers Teddy as he was trembling. “Yesterday we were at this very spot and there was a golf course, a clubhouse, lobster, caviar, champagne, dancing, and all my friends. We were having such a fantastic time. Now, here were are in a wasteland full of garbage. What happened?” Well the Ol’ Devil smiles, wiggles his foot around in the dirt a bit and says, “Guys, guys, guys, you of all people should have known, that anything can be done during the campaign, but it is the final vote, which you are stuck with. Now get your whinny little tails to work!”
MORAL: What sounds like pure gold today, may be your garbage tomorrow.
1. Read between the lines and know “smooth talk” when you here it.
2. Don’t hang on one or two statements, which pulls your heart.
3. In bad times use your mind and put your heart at bay.
4. Some “EXPERIENCE” is not good at all! Like political experience.
5. If you have a wreck, every time you go down the same road, for goodness sake, try a new road!
6. If the Democrats gain 100 measures and the Republicans only repeal 20 measures, then you still have 80 rotten measures!
7. History has proven that NEITHER established party has been good for America!
8. Every time a House or Senate Bill is passed, you should think, “B - ILL”, cause that is what it does to you. It makes you weaker and the government stronger! B - ILL!
Oh yeah, now ol' McGovern can join 'em!
Oh yeah, now ol' McGovern can join 'em!
“Remember, be proud of, and promote, your beliefs! Be proud you're an American and promote that with pride! Be proud of your families and your fellow patriots and promote that with pride! And last, take some kind of real action and pray “everyday” for God to lead you correctly! Believe me.....this will lead to success.” -- JLS