13 IS DARN LUCKY, IF YOUR HEAD'S ON RIGHT!

Ol' Bill staggered to the mailbox, after a night of "sea stories" and one or two, too many Irish Whiskeys. He opened up that ol' box and found one letter in there. He eyeballed the address on the outside and it was from the XYZ Bank of Chicago, Illinois. He said to himself, "Self, that's my bank! I never get no letter from my bank, other than monthly statements and they were usually thicker than this." So he opened it up and found a sixty-nine dollar and seventy-eight cent check, made out to "O'Neal's Pub, Tavern, and Grill", with a big red stamp across it that stated: INSUFFICIENT FUNDS. He knew he went to O'Neal's, but he also knew that he never was one to fail at payin' his tab. This upset him tremendously, as he moseyed back to his house. He mulled it over and over in his head and then came to a strong realization. "Sure.", he said, "that's it." So he sat himself down and wrote a letter, to the bank, that read:

Dear Sirs, Madams, or To whom it may concern, at XYZ Bank,

Let me begin, and with all due respect, of course, but it has come to my attention that a wee error has possibly been committed. I am enclosing a check, that you had sent me, which was made out in the name of "O'Neal's Pub, Tavern, and Grill". Now, kind lady or gentleman, upon that check, as you can plainly see for yourself, are the words, INSUFFICIENT FUNDS, in big red letters. This bothered me greatly. Now what I'll be needin' to know, from you, is this. You see, in light of the current economic situation we hear about on the evening news, each and every day of the week..........well, it got me to wondering. Does the INSUFFICIENT FUNDS, that is so brightly and boldly stamped across my check, well, does it pertain to myself or to your establishment?

I'll be waiting eagerly, for a reply from you soon.

Sincerely,

William J. O'Connor Esquire, the Third

Yeah, Ol' Bill was on to something alright. We may all start getting some of those kinds of checks in the mail. Of course, I doubt that we'll be able to charge the banks a fee, will we? Oh, before I forget, the idea for the little ditty above, came from The Patriot Post under their Patriot Humor section. They've got all kinds of quotes and articles, new and old, funny and serious. I enjoy reading them. Check 'em out.

Now speakin' of Patriot, I've got to add something today, that I feel is very important. I doubt many folks understand the tradition behind the folding of an American Flag that is draped over a coffin and then handed to a widow, widower, or next of kin, at a funeral........but you should. It is something that should be taught in every class room, public or private, and home in America. It is THAT important. It should be memorized and driven deep into our souls like the wounds of the soldiers that sacrificed their lives for our country. For us! For our children! Yes, even for every crook, robber, con man, atheist, illegal alien, freeloader, attorney, and politician. You know, for every darn one of us, good or bad! Here is what that tradition and ceremony, at a military funeral is:

First, the 21 gun salute stands for the the year 1776. If you add each number to the next, they total 21. Then, the honor guard, carefully and correctly, folds the Flag exactly 13 times. No, this number does not stand for the original 13 colonies, but EACH of the 13 folds stands for this:

1. The first fold is a symbol of life itself.
2. The second fold is a symbol of the belief in eternal life.
3. The 3rd fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing the ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense of the country to attain peace.
4. The 4th fold is the weaker nature, for as American's trusting in God, it is to Him we turn in times of peace as well as time of war for His divine guidance.
5. The 5th fold is a tribute to the country, for in the words of Stephen Decatur, 'Our Country, in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong.'
6. The 6th fold is where people's hearts lie. It is with their heart that they pledge allegiance to the flag of the United! States Of America, and the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.
7. The 7th fold is a tribute to its Armed Forces, for it is the Armed Forces that protect their country and their flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of their republic.
8. The 8th fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day.
9. The 9th fold is a tribute to womanhood, and Mothers. For it has been through their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion that the character of the men and women who have made this country great has been molded.
10. The 10th fold is a tribute to the Fathers, for they too, have given their sons and daughters for the defense of their country since they were first born.
11. The 11th fold is the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon and glorifies in the Hebrews eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
12. The 12th fold represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in the Christians eyes, God the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit.
13. The 13th fold, or when the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding them of their nations motto, 'In God We Trust.'

Now, next time you go to a military funeral, I sincerely hope, that it may have a little more meaning to you. Oh, and yes, it mentions God all through the 13 steps, so get over it. This Nation was founded on principles of God and we all know what God it is. It's not the God of Science, or the God of Soda Pop, or the God of Death, or the God of the Devil, or the God of Celebrities, or the God of Sugar Plums. It is the one true God that our founding fathers believed in and the one true God that over eighty percent of American's believe in. And Mr. O, you can call us a Nation of Citizens if you like, but like it or not, we are a NATION OF GOD! No one, no matter how powerful you think you are, can ever take that away from us!

"[R]eligion, or the duty which we owe to our creator, and the manner of discharging it, can be directed only by reason and conviction, not by force or violence; and therefore all men are equally entitled to the free exercise of religion, according to the dictates of conscience; and this is the mutual duty of all to practice Christian forbearance, love, and charity towards each other."--Virginia Bill of Rights, Article 16, June 12, 1776

There you go folks. Some more opinions from TH' DUMB OL' EAST TEXAS BOY. Hope they made some sense to you.