JUST A FLOATIN' DOWN TH' RUNWAY!

Well, it's three o'clock and I'm just sittin' here wonderin' what in th' heck I could write about today. Politics? No. Religion? No, net ready to debate that subject yet. Don't really know. I'd like to talk about somethin' really stupid and funny though. I mean, we got enough serious stuff to talk about now days, uh? Let's see funny, yet stupid. Maybe ridiculous. Something that is so "over the top" that, when you really think about it, it is down right hilarious. ................and like a big ol' gorilla tappin' me on th' shoulder it's come to me. Yeah, that's it! Suddenly I realized that it is already three o'clock and not one person has mentioned the "Oscars". Yep, all day long, no Oscar talk! I mean, it's all over the news and all, but us every day folks ain't got much to say about it, one way or the other. Why? You might ask. Well, as always, you know I'm gonna tell ya.

It is because it is soooooo laughable! These "Hollywood" peeps (oh, that means folks) takin' themselves so seriously and all. Like what they do is gonna save the Universe or something. Like they have a "real" job. Yeah, I found somethin' both stupid and funny and quite hilarious! Oh, how they prance and strut down the "runway" like th' whole dang world is watchin' just them. Guess what? Earth to Hollywood! They ain't! I guess they call that lil' strip of carpet a "runway" 'cause most of 'em are so goofy on something, that they think they'll just sprout some wings and fly. Can you say "rehab"? Of course, most of th' gals are so dang skinny! I'd call it boney! Make a person just wanna run up and give 'em a couple of burgers or somethin'. Good gosh, and TV makes you look ten pounds heavier? Boy, soakin' wet and no make up would be a site! Yikes! It's a wonder the poor under fed darlin's can even find th' strength to make it down th' runway, at all. Hello, paramedics! Clear! Heck, as big as their heads are, all inflated with that selfish ego gas and all, you'd think that they could just float to their seat.

I mean, couldn't you just hear their interview, if they had to actually get a "real" job. "Let's see now. I was raised in a trailer park by my folks who were drunk most of the time and I didn't finish school because it was too boring. Anyway, I entered a talent contest, one day, and won, and then I made movies. The movies all promoted sex, drugs, violence, infidelity, bad family life, crime, and, well, you know, any thing that folks will pay money to see. In fact, one of my bosses told me that the more I was naked then the more I'd get paid. Oh, and I also know all the best restaurants and night clubs. So you see, I am more than qualified to run your daycare centers. So when would you like me to start?" Yes, they are hilarious and you know what's even funnier? Some people actually call them professionals. Professionals? As in th' oldest profession in th' world................PROFESSIONALS? Give me a break please. You can take a skunk and paint it yellow, put some diamonds around it's neck, spray it with five hundred dollar perfume or cologne, give it a thousand dollar hair job, put rings on each claw, and put it in front of a golden statue, but it's still a SKUNK. All be it, a funny lookin' skunk, but still a skunk.

Oh, and since we're talkin' 'bout skunks, what about ol' Sean Penn gettin' th' best actor award? At least, they got th' "actor" part right! I mean, that ol' boy's 'bout as phony as they come. I think his life might just be one big act! Him and that lil' darlin' Jane Fonda got a bunch in common. They both just despise America, but for some reason they keep takin' her money. Yeah, ol' Sean boy, he's a character all right. He knows how to "milk" th' system and I doubt them ol' "horny ol' men" in th' "Academy" are to hard to fool. Afterall, they did pick Seanny Boy as th' best actor. Right?

Anyway, I didn't get to see th' Oscars last night. Naw, I had something more important to do. Now what was it? Oh yeah, I had to trim my toe nails and file 'em all down. They are sure smooth this morning. Maybe I can catch 'em next time, if nothing pops up. Yep, I missed 'em, but it didn't stop me from givin' you these DUMB OL' EAST TEXAS BOY'S opinions on them, did it? You know it wouldn't.

Well, it's three thirty now and I'm done. Y'all stay tune now, okay?