PROMISES! - PROMISES! - PROMISES!

I SAID I WANTED WHITE
AND I MEAN IT!

Did y'all hear about this gal, who had been married three times and was planning her forth?  Well, just a cocky as you please, she walked into one of them fancy, bang up, bridal shops and told the sales clerk, that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding. "Of course, madam", replied the very proper sales clerk, "exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?"

Well the gal said’ "I want one of those long, frilly, expensive white ones, with a veil."  The sales clerk hesitated a bit and then said, "Please Madamn, don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time, for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean!  Perhaps an ivory or sky blue dress would be more
 fitting

"Well, ain't you somthing?" replied this gal, who had been around the block more than a few times, was just a little peeved at the clerk's directness, and she snapped,"I can assure you, that a white gown will be quite appropriate for my wedding!  Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time blushing bride.

You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, that he died as we were checking into our hotel. My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon, that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again."

''What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk.

She said, "Oh my third?  Well I'll tell you about my third!  Every night for four long, frustrating years, he would just sat on the edge of the bed and tell me how good it was going to be.  He went on and on and on, but nothing ever happened."

"Oh my, nothing Madamn?" said the clerk.  And he went on, "but why did he not fullfill his marital obligation, so to speak?"  She just looked at the clerk with cold, steel blue, eyes and said, "He was a Democrat!"

(Thank you Starky.  I doctored it up a bit.  Hope you don't mind.)