FORTUNE TELLING: 1 BIBLE - 1 DOLLAR - A FIFTH OF JIM BEAM - AND A RISQUE GIRLY BOOK!

An old country preacher from Cut-N-Shoot, Texas (Yes, there's really such a place, look it up.) had a teenage son, and it was purdy near gettin' time this young fella should be giving some thought to choosing his life's path.  He, like many young folks his age, didn't really know how he wanted to spend time in his older years and he didn't seem too bothered by it neither.

Well, one day, while the boy was away at school, the young fella's father decided to try and see, if he could get a clue as to the future inclinations of his son. He went into the boy's room and placed four items on his study table. 

The first item he placed on the table was a Bible.  The second was a bright, new, shiny silver dollar.  The third item, believe it or not was a big bottle of Jim Beam sippin' whiskey.  Finally, the ol' preacher, without battin' an eye, nor takin' a peak, placed one of them, what he called, "risque girly books" down on the boy's table.  Four very different items with four very different purposes, according to the preacher.

"I'm gonna just hide behind this door," the old preacher said to himself. "When my boy comes home from school today, I'm gonna be able to see, which object he picks up.  Now, if it's the Bible he'll be pickin' up, well then, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!   Of course, if he picks up that silver dollar, then more than likely, he'll be a big business man, and that wouldn't be all that bad, I guess. But, my God, if he picks up that Jim Beam, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.  A down right dirty shame!  And worst of all, if my boy should pick up that risque girly book he's gonna to be a skirt-chasing womanizer, for sure and Lord, I don't know if I could bear it."

The old man waited anxiously, and he soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and heading for his room.  The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the items on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to give them the once over. Finally, the boy picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. Then, without skippin' a beat, he picked up the silver dollar and stuffed in his front Levi's pocket. Last, to the amazement of his on looking father, he uncorked that bottle of Jim Bean and took a big swallow, like he'd been doin' it all his young life, and all while he flipped through the pages of that risque girly book.

The boy scurried outside, all his items neatly tucked away, and as soon as he got out of ear shot, you could hear the preacher shout, "Lord have mercy," and as he dropped to his knees, in a last final plea he said, "Lord please give me strength, my boy's gonna be a Congressman!"

MORAL OF THE STORY:  Always investigate the Spiritual, Financial, Moral, Social, and Sexual character of a person before you vote for them.  Never just rely on the way they look and what comes out of their mouths.  Of course, today this is not so easy to do because all the records are hidden from those who do the voting.  Wonder why that is?