Saturday, May 17, 2014

1405: TRY TO HIT THE TARGET!

Barry, Barrack, Jack-Ass Hussein Obama (Muslim Name), or whatever he calls himself these days and lil’ Miss Thing went over to their co-conspirators, Bill (Slick Willy) and (Benghazi) Hillary Clinton, for a set down dinner in their multi-million dollar digs.  So after Jack-Ass swilled down several glasses of the Clinton’s “free” beer, he asked ol’ Billy Boy where the can was.  Billy said, “By all means ol’ buddy, feel free to use my personal bathroom.  It’s the tenth door on the right.”

Well, amazingly, Jack-Ass found it all by himself and when he walked in he said to himself, “Golly gee, this is really, really neat.  I have never seen a real solid gold toilet.  I can’t wait to try it out.”  So, after unzippin’ his britches and searchin’ for quite a while, he found his lil’ weenie, gently managed to work it out passed his zipper and finally relieved himself right into Bill’s gold toilet.

On the ride home ol’ Jack-Ass couldn’t wait to tell Miss Thing ‘bout Billy’s solid gold toilet.  He said, “Michelle, Billy’s got a solid gold toilet and I got to use it!  Aren’t you happy for me?  It was fun!  You know, if it’s okay with you honey, maybe I ought to get me one of them too.  After all, I am the President and I am certainly more important than Bill Clinton.  What you think darlin’?”

Well, once again, Miss Thing showed him who’s boss and said, “Jack-Ass, don’t you think that would be a lil’ over board?  What if the press got hold of news like that?  I know you are important, but “we” must keep up appearances.  Even Bounce-aaaay doesn’t have no gold toilet.  You better hold off on that kiddo.”  Of course, as usual, Jack-Ass did just as Miss Thing told him and passed on the gold “pisser”.

Now a few days later, Miss Thing gave Hillary a ring a ding and asked her over for another “free” lunch, yes it was on us.  As they were gorgin’ down their “healthy” Maine lobster, garlic butter and artisan bread and washin’ it down with Dom Perignon Champaign, the subject of Bill’s toilet came up.  Miss Thing told Miss Benghazi how impressed Jack-Ass was with a solid gold toilet.  She said, “Jack-Ass has never seen anything like it and, as a matter a fact, I was jealous.”  Miss Benghazi said, “Well, I’m certainly pleased that your lil’ hubby enjoyed it.  Tell him that he can use it any time he wants.”  Miss Thing thanked her as she slumped in her chair, rubbed her full belly and let out a bellowin’ belch from the fine meal.

Later that evening, much later, after Bill came home from a night of “cigars” Hillary smiled at him and said, “Honey, darlin’, baby today I found out why your saxophone had piss in it!”

ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD:  At breakfast, the husband says to his wife "What would you do if I won the Lotto?"  She snapped back, "Huh, I'd take half and leave you in a New York minute!”  "Great!" he says, "I won twelve bucks yesterday. So, here's six smackers!  Stay in touch now, okay!".

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DON'T BE TIMID! Tell me what ya think.

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DON'T BE TIMID! Tell me what ya think.