THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN ON AIR FORCE ONE, BUT DON'T YOU WISH IT WOULD? OH C'MON! YOU KNOW YOU DO.

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:

'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. I wish personally to welcome you to Flight 293. This is a non-stop flight from London Heathrow to Toronto.  The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and...... OH, MY GOD!'  Silence

followed!

Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.

'Ladies and gentlemen, First, let me apologize to you, if I scared anyone.  The plane is just fine and there are no problems.  You see, while I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap, so I'm sure you can understand my loud outcry?  And boy, you should see the front of my pants!'

One old Irish gentleman yelled back at the intercom.... 'For God's sake ... you should see the back of mine!'