4:00 PM Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:05 PM Singing of "God Damn America
4:10 PM Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:15 PM Ceremonial 'I Hate America
4:30 PM Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire , Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM Al Sharpton Leads Castrati Choir in Singing, "Great Balls of Fire"
5:00 PM UFO Abduction Survival , Joe Biden
5:30 PM Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite
5:45 PM Tribute to All 57 States
6:00 PM Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-Word Speech Featuring 23-Minute Question and 2-Hour Answer
8:30 PM Airing of past grievances by Bill Clinton
9:00 PM Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama Girl
9:15 PM Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo , Michael Moore
9:45 PM Personal Finance Seminar - Charlie Rangel
10:00 PM Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners, Rosie O'Donnell
10:30 PM Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for Iraq & Afghanistan
11:00 PM Obama Energy Plan Symposium/Tire Gauge Demonstration
11:15 PM Free Gov. Blagojevich rally
11:30 PM Obama Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards from G. Clooney
11:45 PM Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish, Obama Presiding
12:00 AM Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher
12:01 AM Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior
12:05 AM Celestial Choirs Sing
1:00 AM Hillary Delivers VP Acceptance Speech
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Obama, you insignificant lil' flea, you cannot defeat me! I am backed by a fella, who had spikes driven in both hands and feet, then he was hung on timbers and the only thing holding him up were those spikes, then he was stabbed and given up for dead, then he was entombed, then he walked out of that tomb and ascended up into the sky and after all of that he still lives today! Yes, this is my backing! What's yours? George Soros? I am laughing whole-heartedly right now! How small you really are Obama! Oh yeah, if you think this fella backing me is something, I just can't wait 'til you meet his father! Good luck, Hehehehehe!
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